Part 1: Salt, Sugar, and Social Media

A personal essay about how and why I quit

In June 2020, I published my first book. It took over two years of writing things down on scraps of paper, journaling, drafting, outlining, praying, fasting, and editing (not in any particular order). My book journey was a faith journey that pushed me to call on God in new and exciting ways because I had to learn that this wasn’t just my book; this book belonged to the kingdom. Kill the Busy, Save the Bee is my testimony of how God moved me from anxiety to peace and from busyness to being still. I revealed my struggle and God's work in me to overcome it.

Social media became a prominent tool in my marketing plan. With it, I was able to build an audience who anticipated and needed what I promised to offer once it was published. I had built a pretty strong brand on Instagram and Facebook as a Christ-follower who struggled with busyness. I designed my posts and shared how busyness often took precedence over my inner peace, my relationships, and my walk with Jesus. Primarily, my busyness included things that kept me from seeing God, such as anxiety, obsessions, and worrying about things I could not control.

Here's the irony; while I posted my struggles, the constant posting was my struggle. I became obsessed with posting, rereading my posts, sharing my posts, looking to see who saw my posts, engaging with those who responded to my posts, and round and round I went.

At first, it was great because I could see that what I was posting meant something to people. I was able to connect, share wisdom, pray for people, and have meaningful “conversations” about spiritual things.

Then reels came into being. Instagram was no longer about photographs and meaningful posts; instead, it was all about entertainment and audio clips. Around the time of this big change, I had started my business as a writing coach, so I jumped right into the fun. I made reels and watched as my “visibility” soared. I researched and studied how to be most effective in this space and what tricks and flips I had to do to be in favor of the algorithm gods. I was on Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok like it was my job. And while I did grow my following and gain wonderful clients through all the months and years I dedicated myself to social media, I lost so much more.

My socialization became an obsession which in turn became an addition, which increased my anxiety. To put it another way, my social media productivity became counterproductive. It had negative effects on my peace, my parenting, and my marriage.

When I wrote my book, I discussed how scrolling on my phone temporarily calmed my anxiety. It was like a pacifier. It kept my mind from stressing and worrying. But this very thing that I used to calm my anxiety fueled it. Somehow, when I'm deeply caught up in what I'm doing, I'm blind to what I'm really doing! Does that make sense?

My spiritual eyes were eventually opened again last year when my husband and I had a long talk about why we weren’t connecting. And here’s what I realized, I spent more time engaging with people on social media than I did with my friends, family, and, yes, even my husband. My communication was failing and my prayer life was minimal because my mind was on the app.

Long ago, God revealed what my core problems are; overthinking, anxiety, worry, obsession, perfectionism, etc. Social media was just a snack I constantly consumed to feed all these fleshly flaws. I wrote about it my book. But somehow I had convinced myself that I needed to continue posting for the sake of my business and for the sake of connections. Well, after my husband and I talked, I realized I had to make serious changes for the sake of our marriage.

My husband and I prayed, and God answered. In January, I was invited to participate in the Daniel Fast. We decided we’d do it. This meant that for forty days, we would pray together, pray individually, and abstain from eating everything except fruits and vegetables. It was a huge commitment. At the same time, we were challenged at our church to give a faith offering beyond our tithe. We committed to giving, fasting, and praying. And through it all, God changed our hearts, minds, and bodies in every good way!

Part II of Salt, Sugar, and Social Media is coming in my next post! Stay tuned!!

Yvonne Marie, M.Ed. is the author of Kill the Busy Save the Bee: What It Really Means to Be Still and Know and Write For Christ Sake: A Guide to Kick-Start Your Book Journey for Jesus. She is the owner of Your Book Journey Consulting, LLC, a thriving business on a mission to help writers, speakers, ministry leaders, and business owners write and publish books. With a master’s degree in education and over two decades of teaching and ministry experience, she has developed the ability to effectively educate, motivate, and inspire others through her gifts of writing, speaking, and teaching. Yvonne Marie is married to Jonathan, owner of I-Witness Photography, LLC, and they have two sons. You can find her at yvonnemariespeaks.com.