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A few months back, I listened to the audiobook Black Cake: A Novel by Charmaine Wilkerson, and I am currently watching the Hulu series of the same title. If you like stories of culture, love, and family drama, it’s definitely one to read, watch, or listen to. I'll briefly share the premise of the story so as not to spoil it for those who haven’t. The story follows the life of Eleanor Bennett, who, in the present day, is an older Caribbean widow with two grown children. She is a lover of the ocean and the keeper of secrets that not only spill over to affect her well-being but cast a dark shadow over every person she loves dearly. She recognizes how her secrets have stolen her family's peace, love, and security. With this regret, she goes out into the ocean to surf in hopes that the ocean might capture her forever. This desire to end the pain ends in a tragic surfing accident, after which she is confined to the hospital, where doctors discover that she has cancer. She decides that before she dies, she will let go of every secret in order to set her children free. So, she shares everything through a voice recording that her children listen to after she passes away. She confesses everything.
While this book is a work of fiction, it is not uncommon for families to keep secrets because everyone has them. Stories, events, situations, and moments that no one knows about except God. While not every secret should be shouted out from the rooftop, the silence of secrets has the potential to devour a soul, destroy a life, and demolish relationships. What we decide to take to the grave may only sprout up from the earth and grow into a tangled mess of weeds, choking the life out of those we held dear. That’s what secrets do.
Secrets are most often dark places, the playground of guilt and shame. The enemy of our souls loves silent secrets because with silence, there’s loneliness, and with loneliness, there’s fear. Deep and hurtful secrets don’t just go away; they remain, and we replay them in our minds. They hold us hostage with fear. Fear of being judged. Fear of hurting someone. Fear of consequences. Fear of what will happen if anyone were to find out…. Sitting alone in the darkness of a secret can often cause even more damage then the secret itself.
One of my oldest memories was being in my dark bedroom at night, curled up in a ball on my bed as a very small child, looking around my room. I felt as if there was a presence in my room with me. Could it have been my imagination? Certainly. I had and still have a very active imagination. But I don’t remember what I saw in the darkness or what I heard that made me shift my eyes from one corner of the room to the next. What I do remember vividly was the fear. I wanted to be a big girl, so I stayed awake in my room, willing myself to be brave. I thought I could handle it alone. I covered my head and cried to myself. Oddly enough, I don’t remember making the decision to turn on the light; instead, I ran out of the room, into my parent’s bedroom, and told my mom. I whispered to her that I was afraid. She didn’t disregard my feelings of fear; instead, she came into my dark room and lay in my bed with me. I remember that feeling of peace and security. After a little while, she turned to me in the darkness, prayed for me, and told me what I should do the next time I’m feeling afraid. She said, “Tell Jesus.”
Isn’t that a reminder for us all today? Tell Jesus. Confess. Confession means to acknowledge, to admit, to reveal, to make known, to disclose…Yes, confess sins, confess pain, confess trauma, confess hurt, confess fear, confess anger, confess bitterness, confess your unending need for God's grace.
This is the place to begin. Trust and know, that secrets keep you in bondage. Psalm 32:3 says, “For when I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long.” However, confession brings freedom, forgiveness, and healing. Proverbs 28:13 says, “Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy.” And I John 1:9 says, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”
This reminds me of my late mother-in-law’s favorite hymn, “What a Friend We Have In Jesus”:
What a Friend we have in Jesus, all our sins and griefs to bear!
What a privilege to carry everything to God in prayer!
O what peace we often forfeit, O what needless pain we bear,
All because we do not carry everything to God in prayer.Have we trials and temptations? Is there trouble anywhere?
We should never be discouraged; take it to the Lord in prayer.
Can we find a friend so faithful who will all our sorrows share?
Jesus knows our every weakness; take it to the Lord in prayer.Are we weak and heavy-laden, cumbered with a load of care?
Precious Savior, still our refuge, take it to the Lord in prayer.
Do your friends despise, forsake you? Take it to the Lord in prayer!
In His arms, He'll take and shield you; you will find a solace there.Blessed Savior, Thou hast promised Thou wilt all our burdens bear
May we ever, Lord, be bringing all to Thee in earnest prayer.
Soon in glory bright unclouded there will be no need for prayer
Rapture, praise and endless worship will be our sweet portion there.
What a friend we have in Jesus! Confess it all to Him. While secrets are rooms void of light and sound, confession lights up the room so you can finally see what needs to be done in that space. Confessions reveal what God already sees and gives you an opportunity to watch God expose and destroy what is hidden in the dark. You become a witness to God’s forgiveness, love, and power to transform.
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